For reasons that are still mysterious to me, my blog - which began as musings on my relocation to Seattle from Santa Fe and all that happened (love) and all that didn't happen (regret) - transformed into musings about something that I regard with - well, let's call it puzzlement. That would be religion - specifically, Fundamentalism (and I use the word to include the Chabad-like Fundamentalist Jews as well. I'm just as aghast at the ideas that spring from the blog of Mrs. Anna T as any Christian. ).Although, I'll say this: It seems all those women have some mighty clean homes. It's like a modern day version of The Little Flower, my all time favorite Catholic saint. Cleaning for Jesus! Although my vision of Old Jerusalem isn't particularly spotless, what with all those rope sandals. But I digress.
More and more I'm stunned that anyone cares what I think about anything. I'm just a nice Jewish girl & opinionated writer whose dog apparently will be shipping off to Heaven without me. The point is that I'm stopping this train and getting off. My reasoning is that after more than a year of reading pretty much every single Bloggy housewife and Warriors for Christ mommy, I'm resigned that I'll have as much impact on anyone's belief system as a mosquito had at stopping D Day. It's only fair to point out that the reverse is also true: Not a single comment, claim, or religious vision and/or supposition has swayed me one iota to the conclusion that there is a God or that He/She has a "plan for my life." In fact, all my reading has done more to push me from measured Agnostic to enthusiastic Atheist. You know, in my youth, the Moonies tried to recruit me from Civic Center in San Francisco with an invitation to enjoy a lecture with grilled cheese sandwiches and buttered popcorn. I happen to love grilled cheese sandwiches and buttered popcorn. I left their house laughing hysterically at the lecture (okay, I was asked to leave), and this was at the lonely and tender age of eighteen. As a personality, I'm a Brazil nut. I don't crack easily, you see. It was never going to happen, folks. Don't weep over this one.
Also, I can't pretend that homophobia under the banner of righteous isn't stupendously annoying. I don't like the way some of these bloggers talk to each other, let alone me. I don't understand the rigidity that guides them. I don't understand the eternal childhood of religious faith. I really don't, and please dear readers, do not try and explain it to me. Please. I've tried my best to be open-minded, but every time Voddie Baucham opens his mouth, I am once more horrified that people are actually listening to his simple-minded ditherings. Listening! Repeating! Saying Amen! A woman I know to be intelligent warned her readers about a children's book wherein she discovers "two mommies." Well, here's the thing. You are casting aspersions against people I love and respect, people who have suffered a great deal because they happen to be gay. Which is how they are, and if you believe in a God, how God made them. Which is - to be blunt - ain't none of anyone's beeswax. So shut it, Bible Bearing Christians. If it's so easy to decide to be straight, lemme ask you something. If your God decried it, would you go and have sex with the same gender? I mean, who cares if you're attracted or you want to or anything, GOD SAID. No, I didn't think so. Like I said, shut it.
But there is so much more. There's the insistence that there shouldn't be separation between Church and State. That being a Stepford Mommy is the only thing your daughters should become and see how good she is with the babies! We do all come one size fits all, I guess. Or that's a dream killer. (Although it's awfully nice when those FEMALE nurses help you with your birth! I know, it's like using Social Services. It's okay when you need it. I understand.)
My blood curdles when I read that women are encouraged to have painful, dangerous births because the Scripture says we should suffer. Really? Suffer this, beeyotch.
I won't even go into evolution. It's all too much and I don't have the energy to weed through it anymore. Pretty soon I'm going to kick my computer across the room, and I can't afford to kill Mac the Knife. I'm declaring my Great Experiment is over.
We now return this blog to our regularly scheduled blitherings.
NOTE: Okay, so I've obviously stirred the pot here, and I do want to clarify. I had some lovely emails and I will publish those that will allow me to, but I see I've been misunderstood. My post below was about why I decided to stop reading the blogs. I'm not about the hate, folks. It was just raising my blood pressure too much, and I happen to know that there are some percentage of readers who come here to (car wreck, I know) read my rants about those blogs. It seemed fair to warn them that my rants are over. People certainly have a right to public discourse. I really have no problems with different worldviews. It would be a dull world if we all thought alike. But last night I read yet another "keep those dreaded homosexuals away!" post (and it was not on Breathing Grace, by the way), and I kind of snapped. So there you go.
I think Christianity, like any religion, can be a force for good. I'm rather fond of my own (and just for the record, the fact that I'm aghast by some of Mrs. Anna T's beliefs does not mean that I don't find her a terrific and intelligent writer. I do.) But in summation, I think religion can also be a force for the well, not good. And the more I read, the more I fear this. The path narrows and narrows. Fundamentalism is punishingly rigid, and if people choose it, best of luck. But I want you all to know that my sweet and wonderful friend J. cried when he told his mother he was gay, and he still can't tell her large Baptist family. It was painful. I cried with him.
I want you to know that I am lucky enough to count among my friends two lovely and intelligent lesbians who married and hope to have children who will indeed have "two mommies."
So, in short, these are not concepts. These are people. Which is why I'm stepping off.
MOD
12 comments:
MOD,
Certainly you are intelligent enough to appreciate that much of what you write here casts aspersions on folks I know and love, right? And yet I never found myself offended because it's your right to believe (or not believe) whatever you choose to believe (or not believe). Offense is such a wasted feeling to me because it implies that folks are obligated to clear with us what they believe or be silent if we don't agree.
I thought we had just agreed to disagree and admire each other's writing, and on the occasional moments that we find points of agreement, enjoy them.
Silly....dongs don't have souls ;-)
MOD, I must ask as respectfully as possible why you have read these blogs if they cause such an anger to arise inside? I don't say this to be condescending but from my own experiences of the hurt such things can cause. I've been there, letting myself get riled up over something so silly and stupid as different opinions on the internet and it's just not worth the spike in blood pressure or the grief. In fact, I've recently ceased my public blogging over such issues as I'm no longer walking the same path as a portion if my readership and I do not want to harm others or cause upset with the path my husband and I are walking on.
As an fervent supporter not only of freedom of religion, but also free speech, I heartily support dissenting opinions. In fact, Voltaire's passionate words about free speech were largely what compelled my husband to sign up for the Army nine years ago. This tug and pulling that can only come about with hearty debate is what can bring about more freedom and preserve what we do have. A "fundamentalist" has every right to vote on their conscience just as you and those you care about have as well. That's the beauty of our political system.
Freedom means we can choose what we do and do not expose our children to. It means we can boycott certain companies. Liberty means we can vote with our conscience and use our feet, ballot, and pocketbooks to do so. Do not get me wrong, there are many things that make me cringe, especially with regards to what children are exposed to (or aren't exposed to, as the case might be), but just because I disagree doesn't mean I have a right to tell another person what to do, especially when no honest to goodness abuse, neglect, or harm is taking place. As a libertarian, I pretty much believe you can swing your stick until it hits mine.
I know you have stated you've read my blog in the past, in a comment you've left on Terry's blog, so I am assuming I must be among the "fundamentalists" of whom you speak. So just for the shock value, allow me to share the fact that Peapod has had a college fund since in utero; we are not literal six day creationists; and due to health reasons and the fact my husband doesn't want me to die, we're limiting our bio family size--though wouldn't be opposed to adoption when we are older. Oh, and we support the separation of church & state, practical egalitarians, and will not be homeschooling/using private school for religious reasons but to preserve creativity & provide the best education we can for Peapod. And clean house??? It's hygienic but cluttered on most days. ;o) I'd rather play with my daughter and her toys than clean around her all day long.
(cont below)
I'm not really sure my point in sharing these facts, MOD, but I do hope you might realize that the Stepford Wives are a bit deeper than one might like to think, just as I wish more Christians would realize those who believe differently than they do are not strawmans but people with great depth as well. None of us are one dimensional and I firmly believe we harm not only each other other & ourselves, but also healthy discourse and mutual understanding that keeps a society free when we polarize each other and paint our "opponents" with a wide brush that is, as you have said, "one size fits all". None of us are a black and white caricature of a person, but consist of many shades of gray, worth far more that a stupid stereotype.
Just as you are upset about those you care about being condemned, I must admit my heart aches a bit as I have read words directed at several women who I count as friends, even if we have never met and even if we don't agree on everything. Just as those you feel have been slighted have surely been good to you, so, too, have these women, including Anna and Terry. They have always had encouraging words to offer me when I've been wandering through a dark stormy part of life and they've celebrate great joys with me. Knowing what an intelligent woman you seem to be, MOD, you surely have to know that these women are beautiful people, even if you don't agree with their political beliefs or the way they choose to live their lives.
Terry, we do agree to disagree, and I will always enjoy and admire your writing. And it's not that I'm offended, personally. I'm not. You know I think you're a smart and interesting writer (still would like that book from you), and I do read you uh, religiously. ;) But I hadn't recognized, for example, that it really does bother me that you consider homosexuality both a choice and a sin.
Do I cast aspersions on people that you know and love? I guess I have, and I'm sorry. But the aspersions that are cast on gay people are extremely damaging, in my opinion. They create a situation where young boys hang themselves or live in fear or are tortured. I wince when I read these things. It's painful. I'm sure you wince when you read some of my posts, but I guess the difference is - this isn't about ME. Do you know what I mean?
Anyway, as you can tell from my note above, all I was trying to say (and obviously said quite badly) that I'm not going write about it anymore, and I'm possibly not going to read about it either. That's all.
I have a lot of respect for you, but I wish you could just read your daughter that book and know that all it says is that some people are different from other people. Then again, I'm sure you wish I was a Christian. :)
Amy, you are right. I'm making a vast sweep past the very important differences of Conservative Christians. I'm just sad at some of what I read, and it does make me want to throw my computer.
Do I want to pretend that everyone thinks like me? No sir I do not. But I can't pretend that all the legalism and finger pointing and homophobia doesn't rile me.
So I should stop reading. But I'm really very glad that you and Terry and Molly at Adventures in Mercy and yes, Mrs. Anna T (who sometimes posts some rockin' recipes) are around. Because I'm very fond of all of them, too. And that's the truth.
Amy did a great job of debunking myths so I won't dare to add to what she said. I will say this:
My brither who lives out on the left coast is gay. When he comes out here to visit, guess who he chooses to stay with? Yes, yours truly- even though he has a TWIN brother, two other siblings, and a parent whith whim he could stay. What's even more amazing? He knows we disagree with his lifestyle. He knows we pray for him. Yet, he chooses THIS place- because of the love he gets here.
I know why and how you have come to believe that Christians hate gay people. And I am truly sorry that we have done such a hhorrible job at being loving. But your sweeping generaliztions are just as bad as you claim ours are.
Yes, I beleive homosexuality is a sin. And ultimately all sin is a choice on some level. But I would never approve of treating ANYONE disrespectfully.
Still, I don't think my 3 year old needs to have to absorb that type of thing at her age. I won't apologize for that. She is still trying to wrap her mind around our blended family. Sheesh.
Oh, I should add this point: My brother? He's not the least bit offended by the fact that partners are not allowed to stay at our house. He's not offended by our religious beliefs.
I think those who really know and love us are the best ones to judge our characters, our faith, and the genuineness of our love and what we say we believe.
Many of the bloggers you have been reading (and despise) would probably floor you with the depths of their love and compassion. And undoubtedly, some will be just as cold and unloving as you imagine. We are not one size fits all.
I don't despise anyone, Terry. (Well - no one I don't know personally ;) I'm sure your brother accepts your beliefs, and I'm sure that the depths of love and understanding would floor me.
In certain situations.
But for me, that's the problem. The certain situations. You know, you aren't attracted to other women. That's just the way you are. Some women are. I don't think that's a choice when people as the old song goes, need people. It's not a new event, homosexuality. You know? It's been around awhile.
I know you aren't one size fits all. I know that. But then when I come across say this:
http://www.generationcedar.com/main/2009/09/radical-gay-activist-appointed-to-the-department-of-education.html/comment-page-1#comment-14746
I'm all - gah! Because this is so wrong and such propaganda, and these blogs just spread it. Hence, my recoil.
I certainly didn't mean to lump you together with everyone.
My intent was to say that even you, my favorite blogger, seems to be following this particular path, and it is troubling. Now I may have misread you about the Two Mommies, and if so, I'm sorry. But I can't help wondering if Jesus, who taught love and held the hands of those who were condemned by others, would have relished the fact that your brother's partners are not welcomed into your home. Even to stay in another room? Really? I realize this is what your religion tells you, but - it feels wrong to me. To ME. It's one opinion, like this blog. :)
What you read to your little girl ais of course YOUR business. I was just making a point.
Yes, I saw the post at Generation Cedar. You may notice that by and large I stay away from these debates about lifestyles. And I stay away from them mainly because I feel that most American Christians need to get the beams out of our own eyes first.
I read the comments over there, too, and I fall in the camp of authentically me and Bethany. I cannot condone what I believe is sin, but neither can I feel it is my duty to get up in arms over it.
My reason for even broaching the subject on my blog is because I frimly believe that it is up to the parents to discuss issues of sexuality (of all stripes) with their children. I find it an overstepping of boudaries for anyone to presume they are better equipped to paint the picture for my kids than I am. On that issue, I agree with kelly 110%.
Given the test scores and literacy rates coming out the public school system, one wonders that they have the time to tell my kids about sex. They really do have bigger fish to fry as people are pulling their kids out in droves.
I have heard all the arguments to support the opposite point of view, but I can't jump on that bandwagon.
As for my personal experience with the gay members of my own family, my conduct and their response to it (which no one online could ever be privy to) speaks volumes. I don't have to offer any kind of defense.
I hope this is clear - my problem isn't with you, Terry, or any aspect of how you relate to your family. It's not my business. In fact, I'm perfectly aware that you're a fine person and an intelligent woman. My problem is with any religion that insists on calling this and that "sin." Gay people are sinning, and birth control users are sinning and it's ALL WRONG. Heh. It's a slippery slope, in my opinion. I don't like it and I think Kelly - for all her good intentions - does an awful lot of harm in the world.
Emphasis here is on "I think." Just as I said in my blog, who cares what I think? I'm just a heathen writer. ;) But at the very least, I'll know that I've tried to be kind and giving. I can't believe in a God that would insist on anything else. But we'll see when we get there, won't we? I'm hoping my dog puts in a good word for me.
By the way, the statistics are not in Kelly's favor if she keeps having children. There's a strong possibility that at least one will turn out to be gay. That's a kid that even I'll be praying for.
Hey! remember me!!!! Love this post....naturally ;)
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