On Not Being a Christian & Other Tales of Sisterly Love

So after the election last year I noted that I hoped Liberals wouldn't get obnoxious about their victory. It started me thinking about what kind of Liberal I was. And so, Dear Readers, I embarked on my Great Experiment (also known as The Enlightenment). I decided to put aside my typical blog fare, and read the most conservative of blogs in the blogosphere. I'm not talking Michelle Malkin here. (Because I'd rather not under any circumstance.) No, I'm talking real people, real stories. I'm talking declared Christians who go for guidance to the Vision Forum, where they never met a patriarchal sentiment they didn't instantly embrace, and the supremely irritating Voddie Baucham, who has an odd penchant for yelling "Dunkirk!" or "Hitler!" every time he disagrees with something. I can only hope that Jesus in His Infinite Wisdom sees fit to place him in the section of Heaven where those dreaded Sinner Homosexuals always get to pick the music in the Celestial Jukebox. Eternity and techno. Let the punishment fit the crime, right? Here's a taste of Voddie's wisdom - listen up, My Children:

Hence, sodomites, who who are in large part responsible for the introduction and spread of the HIV/AIDS epidemic are praised for responding to this plague in an attempt to avoid annihilation (by the way, I know you don’t have to engage in sodomy to get HIV, but that doesn’t change the facts... see the book, And the Band Played On for an honest look at this issue).

Or let's go look at Africa, shall we, where apparently anal sex is all the rage! Or just, you know, dirty needles.

But I digress.

Yep, I visit with homeschooling Christian moms who don't go in for birth control (apparently it's all about giving God control over your womb as if He didn't have enough to do without worrying about filling billions of wombs - and for some reason, I always think of cream puff factories when this comes up.) And you know, some of those bloggers are pretty interesting people. Some are extremely funny and bright like my personal favorite, Terry at Breathing Grace, who I nearly always disagree with and yet continue to commend her lovely writing and depth of character and intelligence. Or Authenticallyme, who courageously tries to understand how to continue to be devout after her "toxic" church led her astray, or Molly at Adventures in Mercy who has found herself Born Again in an utterly new sense of the phrase, or Elizabeth, who manages to be fervently pro-life and hilariously funny simultaneously. Some of them assure me that they really do have a sense of humor (and they do) like the fabulous Civilla. Some of them I have a strange affection for, like my sweet gummy bear Deanna, who once wrote me this about me - right after she told me what a nasty heathen so-and-so I was:

Perhaps somebody will tell her she has great value and God desires a close and personal relationship with her...He'd like her to actually know the meaning of love. A love that will never and I mean never leave her.
He'd like her to know that she's not an animal, never has been, but she's precious in His sight.
He'd like her to know that she has an eternal soul that needs a touch from Him to complete her.
He'd like her to know that at this time in her life, she's in want and she needs to crawl up into His lap and weep til there are no more tears.
Abba Daddy, tell me about Jesus

Well, this was fascinating. Call me crazy, but I had no idea Abba could tell me about Jesus. I thought they were singing about some dude named Fernando. Are there more secret messages like this? Is Paul dead?

Anyway, after a year of actually reading and considering everything, I can only give myself a B on the Great Experiment. Because a lot of what I read still makes me scream, "dude, you're wrong!" (And I occasionally do in the comments section, although it really is kind of exhausting since not everyone has Civilla's sense of humor):

* "Teaching kids to share is encouraging Socialism." Hey, you learn something new every day. Here I thought it was to make sure they didn't conk each other over the head with the others' toys. Apparently though, it is a demonic plot to bring Socialism to this country:

We believe that the concept of “sharing” is all wrong. The Bible doesn’t tell us to share.

We are teaching our children ownership.... Of course, we then teach kindness also “it would be very kind for you to let your brother play with that because he really wants to." We want it to be a heart thing.

After all, “sharing” is kind of like socialism. And do we “share” our house, our car etc with anyone who decides they like it and want to use it? No, we keep it for our family.

We do go back and forth on the sharing thing because I keep having thoughts from Scripture…”If someone asks you for your cloak, give him your tunic also”…it can be confusing

Why is that confusing? That seems pretty clear, as the scriptures go. I believe this is roughly translated as "give them the shirt off your back." Well, you know, as long as it's a "heart thing." Because Socialism is coming, I tell you what. Right here in River City, in a country, mind you, that thinks nothing of charging an extra $15 to bring a traveling bag on a plane when you're uh...traveling. Or boarding people by dint of being rich ("Welcome aboard, Gold Platinum Card Holding Rich People! We aren't going to let those disgusting faux people back in steerage use your personal bathroom, don't worry!"). But, never mind that, we are rapidly becoming Socialist. Which is bad! Because....you know, it is! We should do away with Medicare and a post office and a library system. But please, Mrs. W., enlighten me as to where this mythical Socialist country is located, that place where your home can be taken from you and given to the State. Is that Sweden or is that Canada? Because I could totally get behind a share on some seaside property.

* "Homosexuality is unnatural and against God's commands." That must be why gay people have to kidnap small children and force them to be gay because that's where gay people come from. No? Maybe gays are just born with that horrific inclination? Yes, they seem to be from all accounts and purposes. But why? Why would God create people that way? (Since he has control of your womb and all.) Well, He has a plan, that's why. We don't know what it is, and we'll never know because who can understand the Great I Am and His plan, but it involves fighting down all your natural urges and replacing them with the unnatural urge to mate with a member of a gender of whom you're not remotely attracted.

There is no Constitutional Right to sodomy. Moreover, homosexuals are not deprived of their Civil Rights in marriage, because they have the same rights in that regard as every American. That’s right... HOMOSEXUALS HAVE THE RIGHT TO MARRY! What they don’t have the right to is same-sex marriage.

Thank you for clarifying that, Voddie. Now I get it. God wants you to live a lie! Let's not be sinners. Let's follow the principles of the Bible Based Marriage:



* Dr. Tiller is like Hitler. Oh, and anyone for abortion is also like Hitler!" Personally, I'm still amazed and appalled that anyone can come up with a good reason to shoot a man in cold blood in a church, no less. And yet they can. I can't tell you how many blogs I went through conflated Obama's words about how this death was a tragedy with "but so were all those tiny dead babies!" Like this:

"Dr. Tiller was no innocent bystander in a driveby shooting. He chose a life to live, by the same free will most of us believe the Bible teaches, and there are consequences for all of us. His murder is as disgusting as his own acts, but the only surprise is how surprised everyone is. Sadly, this man has lost his life, and his murder is going to be exploited in order to encourage more death. I truly hope he’s with God."

Oh, I'm sure you hope he's with God. I think what you mean to say is - he got what he deserved. How about this one:

"They cannot convince me that they had abortions for “life-threatening” reasons. They say they would die if they delivered a baby. BUT…to have a partial birth abortion you HAVE to give birth to the baby, so why kill it once it’s out? They were obviously “medically able” to birth the legs and the body, so birthing the head really wouldn’t have been that much of a big deal. So really, all they wanted to do is kill the baby in the first place."


Come on, you know how it is. Around about the eighth month you just feel fat so it's tempting to do what those danged Liberals tell you to do. Go ahead! Kill that baby. You know you want to!

These sweet Christian sentiments above ignore the fact that Tiller in the face of every threat imaginable continued what he was doing because he felt that giving birth to a severely deformed child and slowly and painfully watching that child die in agony might be kind of a problem for some women. That according to state law in Kansas, it takes two independent doctors to determine if a woman can seek a late term abortion. That in some cases the fetus was already dead or dying and the mother beginning to suffer complications that could prove fatal but they had trouble getting an abortion performed. That it is extremely difficult to be allowed to have a late-term abortion, a feat that is not accomplished by waltzing into Planned Parenthood, twirling your hair around your finger, and asking if you'll be finished before Happy Hour.

Yes, Tiller was totally like Hitler. You can barely tell those two apart, except for the different moustaches. Just read these stories from women who visited his clinic.

You know, let's just say that Roe vs. Wade is overturned (it won't be.) Are you taking in all the crack babies? The ones that aren't so cuddly? The children born who have lifelong difficulties that parents can't afford the lifelong medical expenses associated with them. Are you going to pay for all that? Or are you going to complain that "you pay too many taxes?" Or are you going to say that Socialism is terrible and people should learn to fend for themselves! Although, oddly enough, it's okay in some circumstances, I mean when True Christians really need it and all:

"There is no legitimate argument to be made with regard to physical circumstances. The stigma of single motherhood no longer exists, for better or worse, and social services are hardly drying up. If you need help with that area, please email me. I would be happy to help you get whatever information you need in order to provide stability for your family."

Really? I thought that we wanted them to dry up? You know, bootstraps and all? I guess not, if you listen to the Kelly at Generation Cedar:

"Social services? Not a big fan anymore; but, if you pursue it, it’s there–I know lots of people on it right now, and I used Medicaid when I was [a single mother and] pregnant–hardly had to fill out a paper."

Wait...you did? So it was okay to use Social Services when you needed it, but we should cut out the programs that might decrease the abortion rate? Ah. Now I understand!

I could go on, but I won't. It makes the blood boil at times, but then that's the Internets for you. On the plus side, Terry@Breathing Grace gave me a Blogger Award for being open-minded. Thank you, Terry! So for the most part, I think my Great Experiment has succeeded. I read everything and consider now, nothing kneejerk about it. After all, there are some ideas in those blogs that I do agree with, like giving stay at home mothers more respect, and teaching children discipline. It's possible that the visitors on this blog have also reconsidered their long held beliefs, and embraced them again through my postings.

I guess I've either been an example of how a heathen can be an upstanding moral human being, or I've been an irritating thorn in the rose patch that is Biblical Womanhood.

I'm going to say thorn. ;)

[By the way, my Hapa Boy is truly the most open-minded person I have ever encountered, a man who constantly asks himself "why" he believes what he does - as this continuing conversation attests. Thank you Hapa Boy for modeling this behavior, and of course, for everything. *Smooch*]